April

April was a blur. It went so quickly and time seemed to stand still in March so even though time marched on everything ran together.

Bryce and I visited the Dinosaur Museum while my mom was here. He loves the sand and decided it would be best to put it on his head.

My brother helped me sand an old table and I painted it. It fits perfectly in Bryce's room.

Bryce loves playing at the cemetery. In my mind it is okay for him to play there because it is the only way he can play near his sister. He asks to go see her and I love it!

We got a copy of the most recent rendering from the cemetery of the statue that will be placed this fall in the center of the flower box. It is so perfect and I love that it is a baby girl. It is kind of fitting because almost all of the babies are girls. We learned that, at least with anencephaly, boys generally miscarry if something is wrong but girls hold on.

I always thought that I would never let my child have soda but you know you have really dove into motherhood when you allow your screaming child to drink your 32 oz Dr Pepper.I love that the cup is bigger than he is.

Russ and I went with the Darlings and the Beaudins to Hale Center Theater in Salt Lake to watch Les Miserables. The production was amazing! They did such an amazing job and I love the story. The music was beautiful and it was great to have a night out!

Bryce has gotten a little better on his bike. He likes to be pushed on it and especially loves to wear his Spider-Man helmet. It is still decently cold out but he have tried to get outside more.

We went to Thanksgiving Point Farm with Sara and her kids and Lydia and her kids. We enjoyed a picnic and it was so nice to visit with them. This month all my friends and family have tried to keep me busy. It was nice to stay busy and forced me to get up and get out.

 

I really wanted to celebrate my birthday with Bryce and Olivia so we got cupcakes and took them to the cemetery to eat them with Olivia. Bryce loves to play there and I love to sit and enjoy the peace there. Russ had to travel for work so I spent my birthday evening with Tanner and Lauren. It is Lauren's birthday too. We went to sushi, exchanged gifts and took a walk to the park. Russ arranged for Tanner to pick me up one of my favorite cupcakes since he couldn't be there. I also got to go to pedicures and dinner with friends earlier in the week. When Russ got home he took me to Benihana in Salt Lake. Since I hadn't gone back to work yet the girls celebrated that next Monday when I got back to work. They decorated, got me all my favorite treats and our boss bought us all cupcakes. Yes, that is right, I had 3 cupcakes in celebration of my birthday. I felt so loved on my birthday and it made it a little easier but holidays seem to magnify Olivia's absence.

While Russ was gone Bryce and I ate our dinner at the cemetery. It is a perfect place to be. I have been annoyed several times at the cemetery when I see people letting their dogs poop there, driving their jeep on the dirt road or flying a kite from the back of a truck but when Bryce and I eat dinner or play there I think it is okay. If those other people are visiting their babies great but they never stop or visit a grave they just seem to think it is an empty area.

Every week we take Olivia a flower. I went with Nicole to the Bijou (handmade) Market and found this beautiful garden rose for her. It is the most beautiful flower I have ever seen and I really wanted her to have it. I hate that every flower I take dies so quickly but I want her to know how deeply she is loved and we haven't forgotten her.

Spring has been so amazing this year! It probably hasn't been anymore beautiful than years past but as new flowers bloomed it helped give me hope. I remember when we had a lady come design our landscape last year and she saw all my tulips and said tulips give you hope. Now more than ever tulips symbolize hope to me. I will forever love spring even more than before, it will mean more to me. Both of my children were born in the spring and I love the symbol of the resurrection in the blooming of new flowers.

this is the tree in our front yard

Clearly I let a few things go lately... I found these potatoes in my pantry. Luckily they didn't stink but they sure look disgusting. While I attempted to organize and clean the pantry Bryce decided to style his hair with yogurt. The good news is I don't get angry when he does stuff like this, instead I think he is hilarious and amazes me with the crazy things he does.

Bryce loves his "Garth Vador Jammies" he got from the Easter Bunny. He loves the cape and is so dang cute when he wears them.

Tanner and Lauren got another dog. Bryce loves Diesel  and now loves Scout their new dog. They call at least once a week on facetime and Bryce always asks to see the dogs.

I have been so impressed and overwhelmed with how many friends and family members have already joined our "Team Olivia" for the Running with Angels event coming up.

Bryce and I visited the tulips festival 3 times this year. With a membership to Thanksgiving Point it made it easy to go so many times. The tulips are always so beautiful and Bryce loved seeing the "uyups" and getting a sucker. He started saying "So good. I yuve (love) it." It melted my heart every time he would say it. He loved to run around the gardens and point out the colors of the flowers. First we went with Russ' mom and grandma.

A few random videos

A few quotes and one delicious cookie recipe from Erin:

"There are some years in our lives that we would not want to live again. But even these years will pass away, and the lessons learned will be a future blessing." - Marjorie Hinckley