Easter

 "I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives."

Easter this year was different. In the weeks leading up to Easter I thought I was excited to celebrate the resurrection. I thought of all the things it means to me now. My mind went through all the scriptures, quotes and things people have said about the resurrection and its application to my family. I couldn't wait. How lucky we are to have this special holiday so close to Olivia's birthday and passing! When Easter actually arrived it wasn't the joyous day I had imagined. As I prepared Bryce's Easter basket I couldn't help but wish I were making one for Olivia too. As we colored eggs I knew we would never get to color eggs with her and I will never get to buy her an Easter dress. We rushed to get breakfast done and get dressed for church so we could go to the cemetery. I was upset it wasn't the special visit I wanted it to be. We took her some eggs and one for each of the other two babies that are laid to rest there. Bryce loves to play at the cemetery so we took bubbles for him to blow for her. I know it all sounds strange and crazy but there is no proper way to grieve and for me I need to do these things. We also took her a new flower. One of my tulips bloomed that morning and I wanted her to have it. Before we left we took a few pictures then it was off to church with smeared make up and red eyes. Honestly I didn't want to go at all. Bryce fell asleep on my lap during church, which never happens, so we went home after sacrament to put him down and I was relieved. I still hate the way people look at us. I know they feel bad for us but it makes me feel worse when people give us the look of pity. We woke Bryce up a little early to go down to Russ' parents for dinner with the family. It was nice and definitely helped me feel less sad. Kim did a cute egg hunt for the kids and gave each person a bag of candy. Olivia even got one and we got another wooden angel person to add to our growing collection. Now I have to say that I am happy we were able to celebrate the resurrection. I am so thankful for Jesus Christ's atonement and resurrections so we can all live again, including Olivia. I know she lives just as Christ lives. I am so thankful for the gospel in my life as it carries my family and I through this time. We are so incredibly lucky for the knowledge we have. I am so happy we did celebrate Easter and all it signifies I just wish we had one more family member here to celebrate with us.

We started the weekend off with the annual block Easter egg hunt. We hunted eggs, had a potluck brunch and visited with our neighbors. Bryce wasn't the best egg hunter but he still ended up with plenty of candy.

All the kids on the block

Russ said he was wearing his Easter shirt.

"Two eggs mama. Two eggs."

The best family picture we could get. Actually the only one we could get. 

 We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon doing yard work. In the evening we went up to Heber with Dave, Gabe and Jace to ride the Heber Creeper Easter Train. It was awesome for the boys. Bryce was afraid of the bunny at first but then he couldn't get enough of him. There were several baby animals they could pet too. They loved sitting next to each other and looking out the window. The bunnies came on the train and handed out cookies, eggs and dance with the kids.

Don't worry he isn't stepping on the calf

This is where he was afraid. He did the same with Santa. He would just look down and be weird.

It was a really pretty train ride.

Although my eyes are closed I love Bryce's face.

Sunday we got up and Bryce found his Easter basket. It was in plain sight but I don't think he is old enough to search for it. When were were growing up we always searched for them and I loved that tradition. The bunny brought lots of Darth Vador and super hero items.

"Fight him, Vador."

 We also colored eggs. Bryce did really well, meaning he didn't make a giant mess. He would try to stuff two eggs in each cup though. Obviously he loved the spiderman plastics on them.

Our egg family. Dad, Mom, Bryce and Olivia.

This is the first sunny Sunday since we buried our Olivia. The cemetery was beautiful with all the flowers blooming. I am anxious to get her headstone in and the statue placed.

It is so beautiful here.

 Bryce is his Sunday best before church. One of my very favorite moments of all was him falling asleep on me.

Grandpa and Grandma had everyone over for Easter dinner. Bryce loves playing with his cousins and they love him. He and Lincoln had so much fun causing trouble.